Silicon Valley is one big stoplight

I’m fully convinced that the powers that be in Silicon Valley have conspired to not only require a stoplight at every other street (at least), but to also prevent these stoplights from being connected to each other in any useful way.

The following rules seem to govern the stoplights in Silicon Valley:

• If car is approaching the light and it is likely that the driver of that car can see that the light is green, immediately move to yellow and then red so as to stop the approaching car lest it get above second gear between any two lights.
• If car is approaching the light and it is likely that the driver of that car can see that the light is red, do not move to green until the car comes to a complete stop.
• Under no circumstances may one light work together with another, in any direction, to create what might be interpreted as a flow of traffic.